CrapCo Corp. Inc.

CrapCo Tax Strategies

Through the years we have found a variety of ways to lower our tax bills, in some cases all the way down to ZERO dollars! With April 15th rapidly approaching we thought we would share some of our patented tax strategies with you. A few are listed below with the complete list at the bottom of the page.

1. Tax Shelters

You can invest your income in a business (like CrapCo) that operates at a loss, at least on paper.

2. Zero Wages

A common way tax creative citizens try to avoid paying taxes is by using IRS Form 4852 Substitute Form W-2) or a “corrected” Form 1099 to reduce their taxable income to zero. Some taxpayers will even put a note on the form arguing the definition of wages, or a plausible story of a company that refuses to issue a corrected form. Some creative folks have completed the regular 1040 A form upside down using a childlike scrawl and in crayon. This seems to confuse them. If they come to audit tell them it’s the last time you will let the 4 year old do the taxes.

3. Hiding Income Offshore

Much like the Swiss bank accounts you see in movies like “Bourne Identity,” there are (usually very wealthy) people who hide large amounts of money in accounts overseas. Although the hope is always that the IRS will not see it, they usually do. Since September 11^th, the federal government has had the power to monitor foreign bank accounts as well as those in the country. We’d suggest putting it in a bank that is not so cozy with the government, like ours. 

4. Charities  and Donor benefits

 Donor-advised funds were created so that a person could make a large donation at one time and take a deduction from that year’s tax return, but the donation itself would be distributed over time to various charities. This is rarely done right, and many IRS audits get mailed out when these types of scams go down. Contribute to a fund you can trust, like the CrapCo Coprporate Hooker Reclaimation Program. We distribute funds in small amounts (usually 20-50 dollars) to young women of loose morals in order to improve their quality of life. Don’t thank us… it’s our pleasure. 

 7. ”Virtual” Corporations

Founding an online virtual corporation is a great way to disguise your financial activity. Unfortunately, it is also a great way to end up owing the IRS thousands of dollars or going to jail. I personally listened to some bad advice and made this mistake but all those months in federal prison gave me time to learn from my mistakes. Order my new book “Getting Rich not paying taxes” or it’s sequel “Learning to needlepoint in prison”

8. Unconstitutional Taxes

Who has not heard this one before? Hundreds of Americans resist paying taxes claiming that taxation is somehow unconstitutional. This should work. How can hundreds of people be worng?.  

9. Home Business Shelter

Do you have kids. You have a childcare business. Change your own oil? You’re a mechanic and your driveway is a auto shop. Get the picture?

10. Trusts

Although some scammers will tell you that you can lower your tax liability by transferring funds into trusts, this is not always the case. Not all trusts provide tax benefits, and as with all major financial decisions it is always a good idea to speak with a professional before doing anything rash. We are professionals. Contact us for advice. You can trust us!

You can read the complete list of tax strategies here.

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